In Sheep’s Clothing

Dear Traitorously Phillip,

My neighbor has left his holdings unwatched, and his sheep are grazing close to my lands. What is an appropriate number to steal, and how should I best conceal my activities?


Sheepless in Seattle.

Dear Sheepless,

It’s best not to be overly greedy. But being underly greedy is even worse. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to put a spin on their deplorable lack of ambition.

Merely remove a handful of sheep from their flock, not directly of course, through a hireling or servant to maintain future plausible deniability. A few sheep might believably have been taken by wolves or ruffians. And their loss will teach your neighbor a valuable lesson about the importance of tending their flock. The theft will likely save them many shillings in the long run.

Remember, traitors always prosper!

Traitorously Phillip