Counting Codpieces

Dearest Loyally Luaithrend,

Our children grow up far too quickly, and then they’re gone, off to Crusade or court.

My eldest son wants to start wearing a codpiece. I think they’re a dangerous French trend, and he’s far too young for peacock display anyway. He thinks I’m acting the dotard.

When should I permit him such indulgences?

Cautious Countess

Dearest Countess,

I wish to put your mind absolutely at rest when I tell you that you have nothing to fear from a silly little piece of fabric, stuffed and molded though it may be.

I have heard that the playwrite William Haughton has written a piece called “Wily Beguiled.”  In this play, a rogue by the name of Will Cricket is found boasting that women find him attractive because he possesses “a sweet face, a fine beard, comely corpse, and a carousing codpiece.”  Young men from every station are wearing this item of frivolity with pride.  Indeed, the King of England himself sports a fine codpiece (I mean, just look at the man…it’s so…prominent).  Also, one must not forget that your son will one day wish to marry, and that the ladies of the court will wish to know whether their affections are well bestowed.  If he is to be seen at court, he must be Known for his attributes, n’est-ce pas?

Marketing is everything, dear lady. The codpiece, whether we as mothers like it or not, is here to stay. At least, that is, until a woman inherits the throne!