All posts by Webster of Madrone

Bored Housewife

Oh Traitorous One, I would appreciate your wise guidance. My husband the King is tiresome and unlovely. I’ve redecorated the palatium. I’ve learned to shoot, and to ride. Our children are grubby, noisy and annoying. I’ve dallied with many of my husband’s men; they were all dull, singleminded soldiers. I finally escaped with a neighboring … Continue reading Bored Housewife

Arrows flying

Sir Phillip the Traitorous, Like many of my fellow warriors, I enjoy a good battle. There’s nothing more satisfying on a glorious summer morning than the clash of opposing forces on the warfield. There’s just one fly in the ointment. Combat archers. I understand that they’re historically accurate and relevant. I realize that the longbowmen … Continue reading Arrows flying

Axed out

Dear Traitorously Phillip and Loyally Luaithrend, I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. I would like both of your advice in the matter. The King’s court has called a function rapidly approaching and I find myself wondering how best to accessorize for the festival. This event is known to be attended by several … Continue reading Axed out

Too Many Hats

Dear Traitorously Phillip,

A charming charlatan of a merchant has convinced many people in my town that a most ludicrous chapeau is an absolute necessity this season. He calls it the two-prick hat, or some such ridiculousness. My lady wife is utterly enamored of the things, going so far as to purchase not one, not two, but three of these atrocious accessories! She insists they were a bargain, but I think this merchant is fleecing her. How may I best convince this seditious shopkeeper that he has made a powerful enemy, and should perhaps relocate his operation elsewhere?

Hood and Dagger

Complicit Courtier

Milord traitor,

I am lady in waiting in sworn service to a a beautiful noblewoman who is very generous with her affections, although not nearly so much with the largesse.
Her lord has asked me to provide details of her adventures, and hinted that such conversations might be quite profitable. I’m unsure where my loyalties should lie.

Complicit Courtier

In Sheep’s Clothing

Dear Traitorously Phillip,

My neighbor has left his holdings unwatched, and his sheep are grazing close to my lands. What is an appropriate number to steal, and how should I best conceal my activities?


Sheepless in Seattle.