Complicit Courtier

Milord traitor,

I am lady in waiting in sworn service to a a beautiful noblewoman who is very generous with her affections, although not nearly so much with the largesse.
Her lord has asked me to provide details of her adventures, and hinted that such conversations might be quite profitable. I’m unsure where my loyalties should lie.

Complicit Courtier

Bycocket Hunter

Dear Loyally Luaithrend,

Bycocket hats being de rigueur this hunting season, I absolutely -must- have one. All of my friends have purchased theirs from the same merchant, who crafts them from a lovely rabbit velour. But I, alas, have sneezing fits if ever I should brush against the fur of the lapin! Should I instead purchase one in wool, though it is scarce half the cost, or shall I sneeze and suffer in the name of fashion? Perhaps I should buy two in wool, and thus atone for my frugality? (I fear my husband will not see this as a necessary expense). Will anybody even notice that my hat is but the byproduct of a humble sheep?

-Vexed in Vanity

In Sheep’s Clothing

Dear Traitorously Phillip,

My neighbor has left his holdings unwatched, and his sheep are grazing close to my lands. What is an appropriate number to steal, and how should I best conceal my activities?


Sheepless in Seattle.