Pinterested

Dear Loyally Luiathrend,

As a mortal subject to the whims of fashion trend, I am now the proud owner of a number of bycocket hats. However, I find them lacking in the panache I desire.

The stunningly beautiful proprietress of a certain Cheese-Themed-Business has suggested that I adorn them with a number of shiny baubles and trinkets (for a reasonable fee, of course).

Is it indeed true that every bycocket is naked without a handsome pin, or am I being overly swayed by her charming countenance?

And, how many pins is too many? I delight in the idea of being fancy, but loathe the idea of being gauche.

Plainly,
Pinterested

Dearest Pinterested,

It is true that the bycocket hat is THE fashion accessory this season, especially with the Emprise swiftly approaching.  I wonder, though, whether your fondness for trinkets and baubles is a wise choice?  One would not wish to detract attention from the rest of one’s attire merely by placing “too many” trinkets upon one’s head, is it not so?  I also fear for your safety with more than a few small baubles attached to your headwear; too much weight on the skull has been known to push upon the brain, thereby inducing madness and causing the wearer of said bycocket to attempt such things as jousting and the wearing of armored bits without cause.  Why, just this past week’s end I saw a man declare himself the “King of Cheese” simply because he found an almond upon his plate.  Said gentle, it should be noted, has been known to sport a cap with many pins upon it…I know not what his affiliation with the Cheese Proprietress may be, but you can be certain that she is not without blame for his infirmaries.

While it is indeed reasonable and even advisable to adorn oneself according to one’s station, I would caution you to limit such adornment to three pins.  Four at the most.  At five, you risk declaring yourself Emperor of Flan, which could lead to unwanted complications with the low countries…

Loyally,
Luaithrend