Dear Traitorously Phillip and Loyally Luaithrend,
I find myself in a bit of a conundrum. I would like both of your advice in the matter. The King’s court has called a function rapidly approaching and I find myself wondering how best to accessorize for the festival. This event is known to be attended by several less than savory characters and I do not wish to find myself without a trusty means of defending those I am sworn to. I know the sword is considered very versatile and goes with any armor, but I find myself drawn to the ax. What do you consider appropriate for the occasion? Is there such a thing as too well prepared?
I cannot imagine what advice Sir Phillip will give on this matter…something having to do with arming yourself to the teeth, no doubt. He seems to be full of bad advice such as using Great Weapons and very long pointy things. I, however, do not believe that the innate chivalric principles to which you no doubt hold (you are a noble person, are you not?) will allow you to behave in such a base fashion.
Those whom you are sworn to defend depend upon you for Protection. But you need not lower yourself to the level of “unsavory” in order to fulfill your obligations. I would recommend that you come prepared with pithy quips with which to stab at your opponents as needed. A true noble never lets him- or herself be rattled by mere ruffians. Your intellect, dear Axed, will win the day over the scrabbling efforts of these villeins. A strong yet diplomatic approach is the answer. Honeyed words more often hit the mark than an axe thrown at distance.
Should you find that you are in need of additional resources to assist in defending those who look to you for such matters, I believe that many of the young persons at Court are enamored of the Spanish contingent and can point you in their direction…they seem very eager to…help…