All posts by Webster of Madrone

Too Many Hats

Dear Traitorously Phillip,

A charming charlatan of a merchant has convinced many people in my town that a most ludicrous chapeau is an absolute necessity this season. He calls it the two-prick hat, or some such ridiculousness. My lady wife is utterly enamored of the things, going so far as to purchase not one, not two, but three of these atrocious accessories! She insists they were a bargain, but I think this merchant is fleecing her. How may I best convince this seditious shopkeeper that he has made a powerful enemy, and should perhaps relocate his operation elsewhere?

Hood and Dagger

Complicit Courtier

Milord traitor,

I am lady in waiting in sworn service to a a beautiful noblewoman who is very generous with her affections, although not nearly so much with the largesse.
Her lord has asked me to provide details of her adventures, and hinted that such conversations might be quite profitable. I’m unsure where my loyalties should lie.

Complicit Courtier

In Sheep’s Clothing

Dear Traitorously Phillip,

My neighbor has left his holdings unwatched, and his sheep are grazing close to my lands. What is an appropriate number to steal, and how should I best conceal my activities?


Sheepless in Seattle.